I had finally escaped. Escaped from the fear that came with hearing the voice of my father. When I heard his voice, I knew something was about to go really south. Hearing the sound of my name meant I was about to end up hurt. I had always prayed for solace, a safe place hidden from such pain, and finally Waves had given me one. A place I didn’t have to be discovered by the one who scared me the most.

The last time I heard him speak, I had considered just running away, but my father was influential. I hated the idea of being caught and brought back only to face more doom, so my plans to run faded away. With Waves, I wasn’t afraid of my father anymore. That voice, which I had come to dread, was never going to haunt me. I could finally experience life free of the fear of home. It felt so strange being on Waves, but I could finally breathe. Life had felt suffocating, but now I could really live.

My first few weeks were filled with exploration. I explored picture waves and enjoyed seeing things without being seen. Who knew invisibility would be this fun? I explored picture waves and how each wave would change when interrupted by a thought. Life here felt created. It made me believe I could dare to create a life for myself. I was so caught up in fear that I didn’t dare to dream of a future where I was free. Now, with such a privilege, I wanted to dream of something beautiful. My first thought was to reach out to Lynn.

That became a problem. On Waves, we were all hidden, so I wouldn’t know how to find Lynn. This was the first loophole. I realized suddenly that though I had been freed from the voice of my father, I lost the voice and presence of my friends. I wanted so badly to meet up and talk about the things I had explored in Waves. I wanted to see their faces as they changed with awe or as they laughed at each other’s jokes. Waves was amazing, and I liked being here, but in the middle of all the fascination, I could not connect truly with others.

I tried to find a solution by checking out the sound waves, which I had sworn I would not explore for fear of identifying my father here. But now, I felt so alone, and I wanted to find the voices of others who had made my life on Earth worth living. I was able to find some Waves with Lynn’s laughter, but it felt so distant. It did not feel real, and the feeling I usually felt when being with Lynn was no more. I thought this was my escape, I thought I would live  better outside of Earth, I thought a better life had been given to me, but was this really a better life? All I had known was fading into Waves.

Written by Lough Deborah